Years ago keeping our families connected was simply a matter of coordinating the day planner, the calendars and schedules to ensure we’d have special relaxed or recreational time together. Today, the challenge of staying connected is complicated not only by finding the time to be together but separating ourselves from our many devices, laptops, cell phones, tablets, and video games that are now in the mix, so to speak.
We are connected with our friends across the street or across town, our family members who live across the country or around the world, but if you think about it, unless we are intentional you may be in the same room with your family but very disconnected.
Recently parents from three different families shared their struggles and frustration with their teenage children who seem to find it difficult to tear themselves away from their cell phones and games. Although one family says they are adamant that no phones, or any other device, be brought to the table, in recent weeks one of the teens has decided that's too much of a sacrifice and just abandons dinner and races off to pick the phone back up. They've tried many disciplines to change this; they've taken the phone away, restricted hours of access, and the list goes on. Another mom says she has simply thrown up her hands and given up. It's just not worth the hassle. Meals and family conversations are disrupted, with constant reminders: "Please don't text while I'm talking," "Please don't text while you should be reading," and so on.
Does this sound familiar? Is it a challenge you’re currently facing?
These families have believed more family time is needed to distract the teens from their devices. Is the device the real and only culprit here? More discipline isn't always the answer.
My advice to both families was simply this; get creative and work to find a balance between enjoying and using technology and focusing on things to do together as a family.
Staying connected does take work. It seldom happens when we throw together a few ideas and hope for great results. Often those ideas unravel into spurts of chaotic or disjointed activity. (Sometimes spontaneity works – sometimes not so much). Or, when we insist that we have family time and that our kids will have fun it may not turn out to be as successful as we'd like. Fun cannot necessarily be produced upon demand. Chances are it will most certainly result in major disconnects.
I admire the families who have noticed the early warning signs and starting to disconnect.
They’ve begun looking for ways to keep that from happening. These families look for activities to regain focus, spend time together for the sake of the community, and build memories.
Every day, we’re helping families just like yours to reach their goals and make the connections between their work, school and family life.
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